Sincerely Bored of London

Today I begin another week of working in London. The cash machines are empty, the bus fares have gone up over twenty percent, the streets stink, there are gimps in plastic tops handing out 'free magazines' full of adverts for jobs no one wants, similar bodies asking for "three minutes of your time" (three quid a month and your bank account details in the street...), and Big Issue sellers jumping out at you just to make sure you're thoroughly wound up before you even get to work. And when I leave this afternoon I'll have to walk past the scouser with the megaphone telling me I'm a bad person if I don't "Have Jesus" without punching him. If he wants people to live by Christian principles he could start with "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and I'll think about following my principles and being careful what I wish for..... I've asked the police, and there's no way of moving him. Apparently telling people they're a bad person and going to hell if they're not Christian, apparently he's not breaking any religious discrimination laws...
So now I'm at work and listening to Americana by The Offspring. The combination of rage, despair and 'Pretty Fly For a White Guy' is makin me nostalgic... Yes, school was the last time I was this pissed off.
So this is the beginning of Project-I'm a Human Being Get Me Out Of Here. As someone who lived here before it got so bad, back in the glory days of unbreathable air and sewage flowing down the streets (oh, hang on...), said "If you're tired of London, you're tired of life." This is because only London can induce thoughts of murder/self-harm all on its own. I'm going to move to the country and get some cows. Or I may start a shop selling T-shirts with pictures of Mary Magdalene on that say "You may have Jesus, but I've Had Him!"