The Queen Stace'

All hail Stacey Slater, Queen of Walford Town!

Deep Shine and I have long considered Lacey Turner to be Benders' finest asset at this loit stoige, and now that the BBC has finally put the last nail into Den's coffin (the senior brass lined up round the block for a go of the nail gun, and has Leslie Grantham been seen since? That's what I want to know...), a new Master Manipulator must be crowned. Ah, we had high hopes of Johnny Allen, but he's off within the year, so now all we can expect from him is some major league Episode when he finds out that Tina started the fire that killed Mrs. Allen and Scarlett. She did you know. This is Eastenders, she's a fairly well preserved middle-aged blonde, married to a Dodgy Geezer Esq. therefore she must be evil.
Stacey has long been scooping All The Best Lines, no doubt due to Lacey's post-ironic Real Cockney delivery, and she's pretty much proved that there's nothing and no-one she won't do to get her own way. She's also shaping up to be a fine rough diamond, showing a reasonable amount of common sense and kindness to that total drip Ruby (who I can only hope will be bumped off by Tina-she's a firestarter, twisted firestarter- in a final psycho attempt to get Johhny all to herself). Stacey was also the only thing that stopped us going mad during that awful time that was so traumatic for us all. I don't want to talk about it, I'll just say Den/Zoe.
Therefore we DEMAND that Lacey be signed up for as long a contract as her tender age and savvy agent will allow, and we DEMAND lots of, and I can't emphasize this part enough, GOOD storylines for Stacey.
She must be Queen of Walford by Christmas, and she must be architect of this year's Traditional Xmas Pain. The Vic changing hands is always good for a seasonal storyline, so I suggest Stacey gets herself a man with some cash and very little sense, with a family who can really embrace someone with her personality and attributes, then machinates, steals and conns, and generally plays both sides against the middle, until we get a scene where she throws Sharon (Chrissie doesn't really legally own it, she forged the papers, so with it should all default to Sharon, meaning they stay in Walford in the Vic, meaning Den's presence sees Dennis off by Halloween) out of the Vic on Christmas day, dragging her into the Square by her hair then throwing her tree and presents out of the upstairs window "Ahh, look, here's one from Dennis! Maybe he's sent you his ring back, you should take it dahn the pawnshop, you'll need a few quid now."
Now, where can Stacey find a man with access to some money, a yen for the Vic and revenge on Sharon (at least as a way of getting revenge on Den), a family she could fit right into, and the complete inability to think his way out of a paper bag?

Hmmmm........