ISTBO MO- School Dinners Suck Shocker!

I am conducting a search, spreading my net as wide as I can, to find someone who went to a school that had nice lunches. Lunches that had some variety, that were cooked properly, that were not mostly additives and polystyrene, that were not left sitting festering in open trays at optimum bacteria development for hours before being served up by people who seemed to have put rather more of themselves into the food than was required of them in the way of dandruff and hairs etc. Please step forward that person, if you're out there. Anyone, anyone?
Right.
I'd also love to correspond with anyone who didn't complain to the dinner ladies, the school council, and their parents about the quality of their school dinners, and especially anyone who wasn't more or less literally told to fuck off and suffer by all those people.
Everybody knows school dinners are crap. School dinners have always been crap. Young cave children probably got the mankiest bit of mammoth toe going to fill them up between hunting-whilst-not-dying and fire-making lessons. But now of course, as it's an overamitious mockney TV chef who does adverts for that nice respectable Sainsbury's, we must all listen. They were talking about giving him a knighthood on the TV this morning. And why not, eh? Now that we've subverted the upper class back slapping, hero worship and civil service retirement package system by devaluing honours completely, dishing them out to any British person who manages to stagger past a finishing post, be it metaphorical or actual. It doesn't matter if it's a real achievement, as long as it's in public, and preferably destracts people from the nastier stuff that might have been in the news.
Because it's not a real achievement, is it? A nifty bit of timing, no doubt, allowing Tony and Co. to announce a popular raise in lunch budgets, pledge more money for dinner ladies pay and training, and generally act like they're listening and responding to the voting public just before an election. If I was Jamie I'd be slipping Jules a few quid to get a nice outfit and buy the kids matching Laura Ashley dresses so that they look charmingly English with their ickle blond ringlets in the photo of you all having dinner at number ten (or at Fifteen) with Tony and his brood, Blair and Oliver children alike gleefully tucking in to spinach and celeriac mash. Why what a favour you've done for the country, Jamie. Imagine how hideous it would have been if the government had tried to tackle the real problem the show threw up, rather than applying a nice little sticking plaster to the least part of it.
The real problem isn't the school dinners, is it? If hospital doctors are getting kids in throwing up partially formed shit because they're so constipated, and getting on for fifty percent of children are obese, is it even remotely possible that this is all down to school dinners? No. Clearly not. Like I said, my school dinners were bloody rubbish (private school, Jamie, so don't kid yourself your kids would have got any better than the state school ones, and we weren't allowed packed lunches, or allowed off the premises to buy food, or given anything edible to buy in the tuck shop other than crisps and chocolate), yet somehow I'm not seventeen stone with the early stages of bowel cancer, because my mother and father cared enough to feed me non-shite at home. If an eight year old child is thirteen stone, if a class full of northern children can mistake rhubarb for an onion, if a child's diet is so full of refined carbohydrates and fat that they shit once a season, I'd say that's not the nasty school not caring, I'd say it's FUCKING CHILD ABUSE.
The parents of those children should be put in bloody prison. We can bang them up for not sending the little darlings to school, but apparently feeding them stuff the parents a lot of the time wont eat themselves and condemning them to a lifetime of misery and ill health and an early death is fiiiiiiiiine. And what's the excuse? Because cooking proper food for them, or feeding them a range of things from an early age, or indeed doing any parenting that's harder than just giving in to them all the time is just too much effort. Fuck you, don't have kids then. What the hell did you think parenting would be like? And do you imagine for one minute that if you find it 'too hard' you can get away with not carrying on anyway? You don't have a choice. You have them, you have total responsibility for them until they're old enough to look after themselves, which is getting later and later as time goes on because parents are failing to give their kids the skills they need to live an independent life.
I know this might sound like it's all very well for me to say, and what about the kids whose main meal is at school etc etc. Well you'll find a ham and cucumber sandwich on wholemeal is a cheaper evening meal than a Pot Noodle (which is what one little darling on the show said he'd had for dinner). And shouldn't the government be making sure families have enough money to at least eat? I rather think so somehow. Isn't it nice for them to be able to stick a quid a week per child on school lunch budgets rather than give any real money to families on the poverty line?
That's what this is all about. It's far easier to do the popular thing in response to the celebrity cause of the week than to sort out the real issues. It's cheaper to improve school dinners than to give families real quality of life, even basic quality of life. It's easy to say "We're doing this because we care about the future of the nation" than to say "A vast number of you are terrible parents and you don't deserve to have children at all if that's all you care about them." There's no need. The punishment for these parents will come when there's no one to care if they're left starving and insane in their homes because their kids have died before them from obesity related diseases, or in prison from behavior that started with childhood hyperactivity and a total inability to concentrate. That's what's currently expected to happen.
But hey, if it stops us from having to watch the government trying to tackle real issues, bite the bullet and actually tell people who need it how to bring up their kids, give the fucker an award, switch the news off and tune in to 'Fat Friends'.