It's just a ride...

In the event London does get the Olympic games, those intending to attend the games please note- London is unsuitable for: Those under 5ft tall Those under 16 years of age Those with buggies or prams The pregnant The old The disabled The asthmatic, those with cardio-vascular conditions, or those with lungs not evolved to process carbon monoxide as a nutrient. Those not capable of maintaining a cruising speed of above 5mph when walking Those who object to traveling in conditions not legal for cattle en route to slaughter Those who expect persons in charge of a motor vehicle to be able to drive Those who expect persons with a job to speak good enough English to do that job (failure may be due to foreignness, accent, lack of education or lack of intelligence) The foreign, especially those who speak English at less then BBC newsreader standard. Those who expect persons getting paid for a job to actually do it Those who expect shop, restaurant, transport or other public service staff not to behave like they're doing you a favour Those who expect shop, restaurant, transport or other public service staff not to treat you like you're insane for asking them to do their job Those who expect persons in industries with specific safety requirements (such as transport, food preparation and sale etc) to comply with legal regulations that exist for that industry. Those who expect to walk down the street without being shoulder barged, stepped on, obstructed, harassed for money, sliced to pieces with paper cuts from people flyering, leered at, commented on or about within earshot due to dress, breast size, weight, general image etc. Those who expect to walk down the street without being insulted by various types of evangelist about their religion, political views or general beliefs. Those who expect to walk down the street without being confronted with photographs of inside out animals too graphic to be shown on television before midnight on Channel5. Those with a yearly salary less than £30,000 or equivalent. Those with a conscience. Those who expect, wish or even vainly hope to be ever treated with good manners or consideration. Those who believe being excluded or punished on the basis of falling into one of the above categories is in some way unfair. Enjoy your visit.