How could you leave me here so long with Uncle Dubya?

It's ok! It's really all going to be ok! After seven years with "more evil in the charts than an Al-Quaeda suggestion box" (ta Mr. Bailey) and bad bad men masquerading as substitutes THE PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ARE BACK TOGETHER!!!!!!!
Oh thank god!
Where have you been?
Oh don't worry, I'm too glad to see you safe and well to be cross!
Now that you've come back you're forgiven for going away, now that we can go back to the way we were, now that there's hope and joy and music to make us smile and jump around sing! sing! sing! like lumberjacks... Now everything will be right again. The relief is almost too much, I could cry if I wasn't listening to Candy right now "And you were my only weakness for years and years and years." I love you, I've loved you since the first time I heard the first few bars of Lump, I've never stopped loving you, and I'm not ashamed because something that makes you feel this good can't be wrong. I'm dusting off my carefully put away collection of singles and rarities tonight and playing them all until the neighbors call the police. Then me and the boys in blue will Kick Out The Jams.
And you needn't think I've forgotten Chris is really Kermit the Frog, Dave is Gonzo and Jason is Animal the greatest drummer in the world.
Now from the rest of you I want a promise you wont do anything to make them go away again. You know now what the world is like without songs about sweets and insects and toys, without people who can make all that beauty with five strings between the lot of them, without the happiness that comes from a warm copy of the limited edition 'Supersonics' single, without the best live version of 'Video Killed The Radio Star'. You get Busted and Atomic Kitten and Peter Andre comes back. So you all be sure to be nice to them and make them feel wanted and loved and appreciated. I will go and see them at the Forum in April if I haven't already moved to the country to eat a lot of Peaches.
It's time we took the world back for rock and humour. Get back JoJo!