ISTBO Predictions Strike One?

In January the You-Must-Be-Fuckin'-Psychic Division of ISTBO predicted that: "By the end of the year Britney Spears will be pregnant, a full time Kabbalah Centre member, and probably getting a divorce. Once the Bergs meet Kevin, anyway."

Well, to take these one at a time, and to quote the National Enquirer "the four months pregnant star spent the Easter weekend brooding at her brother's Santa Monica pad" whilst her rat faced tramp husband whooped it up around Vegas because he "doesn't want another kid yet, but she's determined to have one". Far be it from me to suggest that it has as much to do with how fat she's gonna get, or to point out that he left his previous fiancee while she was pregnant for then teeny tart Britney. The Enquirer did that last week.
Lets be fair to the man, he has two children under three already, and is seemingly not bright enough to work out how not to have another one. He's obviously aware he shouldn't have any responsibility whatsoever, as he will be eternally rubbish at living up to it. He may be a weasel of the first water, but at least he's honest with himself about just wanting to drink, gamble and screw young slappers, or one young slapper if she's paying. Just look at the wedding, if there was a series called Desperate Footballers Wives Have Sex In The City, they'd probably have found the whole thing too flippant and tacky as a wedding episode, and gone for something more believable, like a topless threesome wedding in a jacuzzi at the Playboy mansion with Hef officiating in just a dog-collar and Church of Elvis insignia strategically placed. Of course, it might not be true. It could just all be jealousy, couldn't it Britney?

"Dear False Tabloids,

As you read this letter, I bet you are asking yourself: Who? Who, me? Am I a false tabloid? Well, I don't know. But after this posting, I hope you are asking yourself a lot of questions. Your employees are a reflection of your magazine. Do you, Us Weekly, In Touch, Star and other desperate magazines want employees who are honest, or those who are liars? It seems to me that you'd prefer the latter. I'm really concerned about the people you hire to work at your companies. I'd like them to ask themselves the question, "What am I lying to myself about?" Is it that you are 50 pounds overweight? Is it that your children aren't making wise decisions? Or is it maybe that your husband or boyfriend is cheating on you? Until you face what is going on in your life, I guess you'll remain a false tabloid.

Britney"

Um, Britney? They're reporters, not your mum. And really, coming from someone who actually makes 'Xtina' Aguillera look classy by comparison (note she got away totally with the 'Freedom Kiss' episode, Madonna didn't even slag her off for bad breath) it's not too convincing, is it?
So that's pregnant and heading marginally faster towards divorce than she did to getting married (downhill on wheels would be about the only way to achieve that at her current size). But what about Kabbalah, Britney?

"Madonna first introduced Kabbalah to me at a time in my life when it was much needed. It has helped me get rid of a lot of negative influences that were guiding me down the wrong path. There came a point where not even my family or my advisors had the answers I needed. The answers I was looking for were all in my heart. Through Kabbalah, I was able to look within myself, clear all the negative energy and turn my life around.

Now that the chaos has subsided, I finally feel as though I have the control I've wanted over my own destiny. I'm in a place where I can take Kabbalah seriously and truly learn from it."

So you're having a baby because the pop religion Madonna hooked you into says a woman's spiritual journey can't even begin until she's a mother, despite the fact that your husband really doesn't want one and everyone that has any reason, even just financial to care what you do says not to, you're heading for your second failed joke of a marriage before you hit twenty five, your career's sliding downhill as fast as your appearance and Dawn French makes a more convincing young sex kitten dressed up as you for comedy than you do when you're actually trying.
it is with great pleasure that I award you the first ISTBO 'TOLD YOU SO'.
Hardy ha ha ha.