ISTBO- For All The Cows

Scientists today unveiled the discovery that animals such as cows have emotions. GO. By the patron saint of ISTBO St. Sybil Fawlty and all I hold dear I say that is the most bleeding obvious thing I've heard all year.
Oh the lovely cows, they come up to the fence to see you and let you stroke their little hairdoos, they look at you with their pretty eyes and breathe sweet strawberry jam smelling breath at you. They lick the treacle rollers and moo happily as they fart in the sunshine, they talk to each other with ear semaphore so they don't have to stop chewing. They're nice to each other, they know when it's going to rain, they make friends with people even though some people are vets. They look after each other and come to the fence together to investigate you when they're young and too frit to come alone. All the big cows look after all the little cows, the boys look after the girls, and they can live in a field with twenty of their sisters and brothers and never fight. Of course cows have feelings. They have all the nice feelings and are much nicer than people. Cows even believe we have feelings despite massive evidence to the contrary. Next time you see a cow, hug it. You'll feel much better.