ISTBO-Blowing Up Chingford

Before all ranting begins I must take a minute to congratulate our great and glorious leader and his wife Sarah on the birth of their son. Donald, chum, you have absolutely no idea what you're letting yourself in for. Right. Down to business. Last night channel five delivered unto me a program about blowing up a tower block in Chingford. Apparently in order to make a building collapse in that neat tidy fashion you see on clips of Jim'll Fix It requires strings of carefully placed carefully timed small blasts placed all over the building, which naturally necessitates there being people whose job it is to put them there. And indeed to go in and find out what went wrong if they don't go off. This is almost the same as going back to a firework that hasn't gone off except much much more stupid. Anyway, in the end they blew up the building and it came down just as it was meant to, not destroying any of the local area. Proper job. Where's Al Quaeda when you need them? In the light of the shocking statistics about men being 250% more likely to die in an 'accident', and the aforementioned likely common factor in those 'accidents', I would like to point out for anyone clumsy (and I'm clumsy, this is how I know these things), male or just plain stupid that the following things are very very stupid things to do: Blowing things up Going very fast Being dragged along behind something Jumping off things Jumping over things Riding motorbikes Interacting with dangerous or wild animals Going to places no one ever goes Standing on top of moving things Climbing things without ropes etc Setting fire to things Doing tricks on wheeled vehicles, motorised or otherwise And- and I saw Fifth Gear last night and can't believe I have to tell people this- letting a seventeen year old boy drive your £125,000 Porsche at 200mph or getting into a £125,000 Porsche with a nineteen year old who is attempting to drive it at 200mph. Please do not mistake the fact that Steve Irwin or Kate bloody Hummingbird or whatever her name is are doing it on the TV means it's safe if you know what you're doing. It's not, you don't anyway, and they don't, they just told you they don't, they just know what they've done so far hasn't actually got them killed yet. TV is full of people doing really really stupid things. Become a statistic if you must, but please don't become a late night channel five clips show.