Lies Damn Lies
I found these on the 'Odds and Statistics' page of a website called Christianonestop.com, which someone in my office got when they were looking up the number of rivets in the Eiffel Tower (don't ask).
Over 85% of U.S. Households own a pet. Over 75% of these pets can do at least one trick.
And the owners?
Percentage of couples that lock their bedroom door before going to sleep? 8.7%
Percentage of those with children? 100%
Percentage of us that smooth out tinfoil to reuse it later? 44%What? Do you know anyone who does this?
Percentage of Americans who can't remember what article of clothing they put on first that morning? 22%Why? Who doesn't put thier undies on first? Apart from Superman.
Number of Smiley Face buttons sold in 1971? Ans: 50 million
Aciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid!
Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80%
Percentage whose wife wasn't there when they were asked, 20%. Do you think the woman they all would have married was Pamela Anderson?
Percentage of American women who say they'd marry the same man if they had it to do all over again: 50%
How much more often do men injure themselves on stairs compared to women? 50% more often.
Ah! Up and forward at the same time, how do any of you manage it?
Average number of times you fall in love during your life? 6
Fuck off. So that's people who do know what they're talking about, one or two, people who don't, fifteen...
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Odds that your next meal will be from McDonald's: 1 in 8
Actually it's one in one, I have a hangover.
Percentage of grown men who sleep with a stuffed animal? 5% (its 20% for women).
Liars!
Percentage of us who would rather try to swallow food we didn't like at someone else's home rather than spit it out? Answer: 20%
So 80% of Americans spit out food in public? Rough!
Men are 250% more likely to die by accident than women are.
For accident read being very very stupid.
Number of Americans who are injured by their toilets every year? 45,000.
Please tell me how!
Percentage of Americans that use their sole or heel of the shoe to flush a public toilet: 50%
Surely stacking it onto the toilet floor is a huge possibility doing that. and what, don't they wash thier hands after anyway?
Percentage of men that leave the toilet seat up after peeing: 53.5%
Lies! All of them!
Odds that you will be injured by your TV this year? 1 in 7,000 - - probably all the summer reruns. . .
Again, please, how?!
Odds of dying from a plane falling on you this year: 1 in 25 million.
How exactly do you work that out?
posted by I'm Over The Moon @ 9:39 am
2 comments
2 Comments:
21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
18% OF US HAVE ILLEGAL ALIEN HOUSEKEEPERS.
Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
SERVES US RIGHT...WOMEN'S WORK ANYWAY.
40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
NO WONDER WOMEN LOVE SHOES.
67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs).
HOW MANY "GO COMMANDO"?
3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.
I AM NOT OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE, I AM NOT OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE, I AM NOT OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE...
91% of us lie regularly.
9% LIE ABOUT LIES.
50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
I JUST EAT THE FOOD OTHERS LEFT BEHIND.
10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
THE OTHER 90% WILL BE SMOTE DOWN FOR THEIR SINS.
13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.
2% BELIEVE IT IMPROVED THEIR SEX LIFE.
Over 50% believe in spanking - but only a child over 2 years old.
25% BELIEVE IN SPANKING A CHILD OVER 30.
How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends, family, and church. 7% would murder.
COINCIDENTALLY, 7% OF THE PEOPLE IN THE US ARE ATTORNEYS.
85% of us will eat Spam this year.
TAKE THAT, BELGIUM! USA! USA!
22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.
...ONLY NOW THEY ARE MADE FROM REAL FRENCHMEN.
The typical shower is 101 degrees F.
DATA WAS NOT AVAILABLE FROM FRANCE.
Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.
THEY MANAGE THIS IN BETWEEN FOOTWEAR PROJECTILES AT MEN.
9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.
GETTING THOSE BUTTOCK IMPLANTS IN JULY!
53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
65% SHOULDN'T LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT MAKEUP.
10% of us claim to have seen a ghost.
INSERT ROLLING STONES JOKE HERE.
57% have had deja vu.
57% have had deja vu.
49% believe in ESP.
I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT.
44% have broken a bone.
FROM WOMEN LAUNCHING FOOTWEAR AT US.
14% have attended a self-help meeting.
10% TO MEET WOMEN WITH LOW-SELF ESTEEM THAT ARE WILLING TO LOWER THEIR STANDARDS FAR ENOUGH TO DATE US.
54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
OH BOY!
22% are functionally illiterate.
NO USE WORD BIG!
Less than 10% are trilingual.
NO BUT I GOT A B+ IN MY TRILINGUAL CLASS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
WHO OWNS A VCR ANYMORE?
56% of women do the bills in a marriage.
TO CONCEAL THEIR CREDIT CARD CHARGES.
16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men).
AMNESIA IS A COMMON SIDE-EFFECT OF FOOTWEAR TRAUMA TO THE HEAD.
I am very distressed that EVERYONE doesn't wash their hands after going to the loo, particularly given how many McDonalds branches and therefore how many McDonalds emloyees there must be... Speaking of which how in the world did a country with so many BIG FAT ARSES in it come up with buttock implants? Have a pie, for goodness sake!
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