You'll Never Get A Job At The BBC Dressing Like That...

Following Channel 5's "shocking" "revelations" about wor beloved Trinny and Suzannah, news has leaked out that the BBC are considering alternative programs for their slot. Hem.

1) What Knot To Wear- George Smith teaches Hoodies to dress like gentlemen.

2) What not to, Where- Gay Scene mavens Tranny and AManDa take you through the best and worst of Europe's gay clubs, including toilet comfort and cleanliness ratings and local indecency laws.

3) Wok Not To Wear- Nancy Lam and the Good Housekeeping Institute review the best world cuisine cooking equipment available on the high street.

4) Wott Not To Were'- Bill Bailey stars as Ulric (look it up, it means Wolf. Clever innit?) Wott in this sitcom about a werewolf's hapless attempts to cure his condition, and the hilarity that ensues at the full moon.

5) What Not To Wi' Hair- Big Brother's Makosi presents terrestrial TV's first Afro hair and beauty show.

6) Watt Not To Where- Reality/DIY show about disastrous amateur attempts at home wiring.

7) Wotnot Not To Wear- Deep Shine and The Man From Uncle take on Kim and Aggie type roles and teach homeowners how to care for their antiques and household finished wood surfaces.

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