Air Rage

I spent yesterday evening swinging between my Rage and an attack of the screaming heebie jeebies both bought on by the same thing: Airbus' Mothership. Every fiber of my body screams out with the noness of it. I don't like the feeling of flying at the best of times (those being when the thing I'm sitting in is actually attatched to the ground), but you can wedge a ticket on that thing into my cold dead hand. I know it's meant to be more fuel efficient per passenger, and theoretically meant to cut airport noise because you 'll need less flights, but even if those things weren't obviously going to get cancelled out by the lower fare costs if it is more fuel efficient, meaning that we'll end up with the same number of flights as we have now, but all in these behemoths, these planes are not a good thing.
There absolutely must be such a thing as too big a plane. My own dislike of flying stems from the total lack of belief I have that it is possible for a plane to fly. This is really disturbing if you're on one. The problem is that all the physics flying is based on is still officially theory, has big enormous holes in it (well actually it's one big hole with lots of stuff in, but I'll save that for another time), and doesn't add up right in the extreme cases. Scientists have to keep making things up like antimatter to make their sums work. It's like ancient people believing in gods not because that's How Things Are but How Things Must Be, a way of understanding the bits the facts don't cover yet. There are all sorts of mathematical formulae that only work for powers of something or don't work if the power is raised above something, like Fermat's last theorem. So it Must Be that there comes a point where the size of the plane is a value to big for the equation to work. Or perhaps where the weight of the thing causes it to shake itself apart in heavy turbulence...
Richard Branson wants his Flying Death Bringers to have gyms, bars, and beauty parlors. Drinking, lifting weights and applying makeup all being things you want to do on vibrating floors that may at any point tilt to improbable angles or buck like angry goats in the turbulence. And all things you really want to be on a plane with other people doing. This gives at least his, if not all of them, a really heavy Titanic Factor. It's like being at the beginning of a scifi movie, looking at the featured technological impossibility and knowing the final reel of the film centres around it crashing down in flames. From a great height. Then there's the Concord Factor. It's an absolutely outrages project in a world where people starve to death and don't rate higher on the news than England losing the cricket, it's an untried extreme with no peers, and one crash or near crash and converted decomissioned planes will be turning up on Location, Location, Location.
It is a truth: Giant Planes Are A Bad Idea. It is a thing that I will have told them so about. It is part of the great march of horribly stupid mistakes mankind have made. It is an argument against the existence of God as the megaphone man would have him, because as Gordon said to Tony, if you loved me, you'd stop. It has inspired me to start either a Lists section on this blog, or a new blog just for my Lists. As someday it may happen that a victim must be found, suggestions for Lists and entries to lists are Welcome. I will start with Things We Will Have Told You So About, and People Who Deserved It. That will cheer me up. Lets see: Blunkett, Harry, Zoe.....