Old Adage Proved Incorrect

It is often said that the camera adds ten pounds. Imagine my shock yesterday, then, when I walked past Phil Jupitus in the street and he was vastly fatter than he looks on telly. And he's taller than you'd expect too. Well, I suppose that depends on the size of your telly. So the equation must be that sitting down behind a desk shaves more pounds off than the camera can add. And no offense Phil, mate, you're pretty much a widescreen prospect. Or a good arse for radio as one might put it.
This brings me neatly to legend Barry Cryer (not the guy from the Bill), who I saw at a tube station only hours later, who looks much older than he sounds on radio and is tiny short. I heard the woman with him say she'd e-mail him and saw the look of disgust he hid by turning round to buy a paper. Yay Barry, for all you make me cry with the wrongness that you speak on the radio. You are a very bad old man. Superbad.
Fahrenheit 9/11 is on tonight, and I'd just like to take a moment to ask why license payers money isn't being used to put this on where people are apparently not capable of turning over in order not to see it. There. Points to them for the TV Moments awards last night, giving out awards for things we've actually seen and actually care about. You can give Leonardo DiCaprio as many Oscars as you like, I'm still not forgiving him for Titanic. Hooray to Natasha Kaplinsky for making being pretty, clever and talented acceptable, and a GO to Michael Burke for his acceptance speech. Also three cheers to Kelly Holmes for accepting an award and saying "I've been great, and so have you." Well quite.